The power of “I love you”

The following is a piece from a guest writer.

I was asked if I wanted to be a guest author for Shayla's blog a few months ago, and I said I'd love to. I thought I was ready to talk about what I've been through and how tough it is to pull yourself out of those dark places, to realize that you need help. When in reality things got worse and I wasn't ready. But, here we are December, and things are still hard but I'm ready.

I will be staying anonymous for specific reasons.

How many of us reading this have been through some sort of trauma? I want to say quiet a few of us. According to the World Health Organization about 70% of people worldwide will experience a traumatic event in their lifetime. If it's from when you were a child to being an adult. If you don't heal from it, or get the help you need, it can effect you, your family, your friends, your career.. and so on. Myself? Well, I have not healed, but I'm currently in the process, and I'm going to be honest with you. its messy, it's painful and it will get the best of you somedays. And I'm not saying that it's only people who deal with trauma that have those dark thoughts, that do self harm, that commit suicide. To be honest alot of people that don't have trauma deal with it as well. It's just easier to understand when people have gone through something why somethings are the way they are.

To the people reading this.. I'm going to talk about something that not alot of people talk about.. I've been asked many times, How have you not given up? Followed by, your so strong for what you've been through, so many people would have quit.. my answer? " My kids" . If I didn't have my kids, I can tell you that I would not be here. My kids have pushed me to be strong, to keep going, to be the parent they need when things are tough. And yes, my trauma happened when I was younger, I did a lot of self harm to clear my head, to forget everything. I didn’t have the support I needed, and I regret every minute of it. I will forever have scars to remind me of the moments I wanted to forget. For the last year, I have been in many dark places, and a few times I had some very bad thoughts, then I would hear from my kids.. " I love you" . And honestly It's crazy how those simple words from someone so small changes everything. I've gone through so many medication changes, I go to counselling once a week. And I can tell you that when you realize when you need help its hard, you don't want to admit it. It's one of the hardest things you will do. But in the end, it's the best decision you can make. Things will get better, I always thought maybe things will be better in a month and I can move on.. nope! It will take months, but in the future you will look back and you will be so proud of yourself for pushing through, for getting the help you needed. You are not alone, there are people that can help, I know it may seem like no one will understand you, that no one will be able to help. But there is help.

One last thing I have to say..

You are enough, you are loved, and I'm so proud of you and how far you've come.

- Anonymous Author ❤️

Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️

-Shayla